The agony of ecstasy is when in reflection you remember your perfection. You remember the feeling the perfect feeling of being one, being yourself, and being free. You can feel this feeling partially,but only in memory; nostalgia. Nostalgia the feeling of something good from your past. Your past was one your current, and the future soon to join. The past, that time which was once present held so close so powerful to your whole being is so powerful to project you in the future. Yet there is only one period we share. Now; now is the bind that holds it together right now the past, and future; the agony, and the now the ecstasy intertwined as one from experience of perception. A emotion, and feeling of relaxation with a small sense of depression yet only to have it feeling better than the agony of today. Living in the past now. This nostalgia, this overbearing superfluously flowing of emotion, and perceptual change is the most ecstatic feeling as your dopamine flows, neurons clash to look back to a time; to a feeling you remember. Never forget yourself never leave behind beauty. Never let ecstasy leave you. Without control as we all live unfortunately as the rain does it comes in goes.
oh its soooo great tonight I hope you have fun without me I hope they play all your favorite songs Maybe youll hit the bong Hope theres someone cute Maybe you will say hi disregard, mute while I stay alone hope to die sit and cry probably just take to much and lay hoping to not wake up the next day buts its okay its allll fine because all I really want is for you to be mine.
I 100% want to die
I have been wanting to end my life the last couple of days. I feel so uncomfortable in my skin, also my creative direction has not value to others. It’s been draining, and depressing. I have felt intimidated by almost everyone that I have seen, or spoke too. Living in a fear of not living enough. Overall I feel worthless, I feel like my dream. My desire to take sound direction, and make it emotional will not be enough for a audience, or reach anyone personally enough. I wish that this would end.
I am not allowed to be depressed I’m not worthy of attention I obviously don’t make anything better I am worthless I just want to cry One thing I am is alive I should be dead
Getting back in that work grind mindset…watch out big techno album and progressive album to come. After that straight to witch house and trance. 2015 sw4 and creamfields I am coming for you.